Coconut oil filled palms rubbing across your intriguing face. Down my nose. Up my forehead. Up your right then left cheek bones. Two hands on a healing mission. Smooth my neck up to your chin. Then again.

Shâlôwm, Kardayah. I’m pleased to meet you. I love you. You’re a millionaire. Abba YAH loves you.

Coconut oil dipped hands graze your thick, ruddy, sin wage scarred arm. Then the other all the same. We’ve come a long way Sweetie. Oh, the enseighnements(oonsainyemoon) we are baruch to have withstood. But now I’m good.

I apologize for my bad choices. I apologize for hurting you. Todah YAH for making me beautifully. Kardayah, you will win. No matter what YAH has your back.

Eyes of power stare back at me. Nutella has nothing on you. I never thought that such innocence would exist in my secret space. Yet, you’re here and I remember you.

Humbly holding my attention. I can more fearlessly see you now. While I’m sober. While you deliberately stand forth. Wearing a haunting gaze that at times makes me smile. I behold the embrace of my reality. There is only you. Inside Abba’s ru’aah is sustaining we.

You are a successful business woman. You deserve prosperity. You are the image of HE who IS. You have the right to have it all. You are a child of Elohim. You will never be alone again. Because I see you. I feel your presence. You are my me. I love you.

Coconut oil coated hands caress your comely face. Down my speckled nose; smoothing up and out my two toned brow. Lovingly they sweep outward and upward; somewhat mesmerized. Finding their way to freckle specked cheeks; from bonny, deep brown lips of the sweetest kind.

I have shâlôwm, peace, and tranquility in my home. You are an example of quodesh. I forgive everyone who has ever tresspassed against me. I ask that I am forgiven by those whom I have hurt. I release and receive release. YAH is pleased with you.

© 2019 KARDAYAH’S Soul

I am sorry that I have hurt you. I regret even making you cry. If I’ve slandered your name; or taken your place. If I have told you a lie. If you feel that I have beat you up or stepped on your toes. You should know that my intentions were pure.

If I’ve ever shown you jealousy. If I’ve exhibited too much pride. I sincerely apologize.

If i was a nuisance in anyway; just know I’ve come in peace. Not bearing gifts. What a shame. I know. I truly am sorry.

If I didn’t spend enough time. If I have pulled away just when you needed me. If I ate it all and saved you none. If I made the better choice for me. I’m sorry.

I just know that when I say, I love you. Yes, I really do. I pray that your pain will be fair. Taking the backseat to the growth that I seek.

You see? I may not stick to your plan. I may step outside of the lines. Guess what! I’m working on me now. Of this you should be proud.

I just need you to know that I’m in love with this chick. She makes me glow when she comes around. So it’s hard to focus on you. No offense.

Please don’t feel down. She is just simply fascinating! I know how bad it sounds my friend. She has an immense hold on me. Try to understand please.

This lady she makes me want to kick bad habits. She said that with my spirit; I should spend more time. She instills a certain peace in me. She really makes me smile.

I don’t mean to be so distant; trust I do miss you. And I’m sorry.

Yesterday, I was standing in the sun light; it lit up the clearest sky. I’m drawing wisdom from the cosmos. I’m planning an escape. Trying to master my craft. I’m learning how and when I should put my magic to use.

I am busy realizing that I could love almost anyone. I am accepting the fact that all love is not true. I’m learning what love is and how it resembles insanity. Iam learning to be true.

What you get out of it lies with you. I know it’s a long and fascinating journey. I’ve learned that sometimes parts of it have to be let go.

I know now that not everyone can handle. The storm that is Me. Not everyone will understand my words. Most times when they’re looking at my storm. They most likely don’t see Me.

Not everyone will break your heart and not everyone deserves the chance to. Not everyone will believe in my dreams. Not everyone breathes romance the way that we do. But I do and I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if leaving to find me has become a hindrance to you. Sorry to stand here with the audacity to put me before you.

Please fear not. For a time will come when I will arrive at the place that I long to be. I will feel complete within myself. There will be a difference that the world will see. You will see.

I will come back home and I will play my role. I will be the best friend that you ever did know. I’ll shower you with truth. I will walk you to the door.

Yet, you should know; my lovely loves. One thing will remain true. There is no way in this crumbling world! That I’m gonna lose She trying to stand by you. I am sorry.

©2016 Coretta Brewton

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Back in this corner with pen and pad. So much to say? should I even ask? What can I write? What can I sing, to get close to you? All that I want. All that I had, they fill not. Now I’m sad. I need substance now. Don’t let me drown.

So I’m choosing to run to you. YAH, I’ve chosen to remember you. Look at me please. What can I do? ABBA you’ve frightened me with truth. Yahawashi is living proof. How can I run from that? 

Only your will will do. My life is to glorify you. Hear your maidservant please. ABBA don’t forget me. I’m ready to Shema. Please, let me Shema. I’m here to shema. Abba I’ll shema.

Substance Abuse-ALTERNATE REALITY

©2019 Coretta Brewton

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